Everybody knows fire, but is it really real?
NO!
We figured out that fire is not a real thing! Some people at some point invented fire and that’s how we all know about it.
Here is the origin story:
At some point freezerburnpy was discovered by some humans.
They figured that freezerburn is a funny and hurtful sensation.
As creative as they were, they thought “Cold stuff burns, why not hot stuff as well?”.
This was the moment the idea of fire was born.
They developed it further and thus the first flame was created.
Ever since then humans possessed this funny little lie called fire.
All that because they found a funny little freezerburnpy guy called peepmetheus.
Read more about it on our wikipedia linked on the left side middle side of the page when you go to the main page but then you dont actually and you click on a sidebar that we have! Probably.
clamp
Oh boy oh boy a new Clampynews article! My life makes sense again!
1 + 2 = 3
I believe your name is CLAmentine’s life. Youre wellcome
*welcome
I find this more informative than the actual article.
clamp.
clÄmb.
clémp°
cl∇∆mπ !
Muschel
Muscul
Oh Clamuel, you little rascal!
I say why stop there? We haven’t researched this thing nearly enough! Who knows what it becomes next? A house, a piece of candy, A FREAKIN 1984 DODGE CARAVAN!? The possibilities are endless!
Wait but how is this comment section fire then. Because I’m pretty sure it is (lit).
clamp. Clamanda out.
Why you lookin so strange like diferendo from the other Clamanda? 👀
clÖMP
Where did all my Crypto go?
If fire is not meant to freeze, how do you prove the Arctic brand oven? You can check the name logo on the bottom front of the oven door https://lcdn.altex.ro/resize/media/catalog/product/A/r/2bd48d28d1c32adea0e55139a4e6434a/Aragaz-BEKO-AGDG5611DTLB_-4-arzatoare_-gaz_-negru_b6a9b8c3.jpg
Actually, I believe what you meant is “how CAN you EXPLAIN the Arctic POLAR CAPS MELTING”
I’ll try.
Because it’s hot.
This is a common etymological mistake to make. “Brand” is a loan word from proto-indo-clampyzantic (south-south-eastern minor Arizoltian branch) which literally translated means: “pretty nifty, not too shabby or derived from a kind of mushed beetroot paste”.
In this context I think it is clear that this oven is derived from a kind of beetroot paste.
The south-south-eastern minor Arizoltian branch is a fever dream of Arizoltian historians. Show me ONE region where they actually speak this weirdo dialect.
Get out of here you wackos!
I once played with fire. But I got burned.
Get out of here you wacko! Or I’ll bring the fire again!
Ohcrkcrkckr, it’s ckrkrkckrk OOOON!! crkckrck I AM BROUGHT!! ckrkckrkckrkck FEEL MY OVERWHELMING ckrkrkrkckrkrkckr POWERRR!
Why you not red? Fire be red
Dear Madam or Sir,
I represent the legal entity FIREInc. (not affiliated with the festival of similar name) to inform you that you have just been served with a cease and desist regarding your previous comment, quote:
“Ohcrkcrkckr, it’s ckrkrkckrk OOOON!! crkckrck I AM BROUGHT!! ckrkckrkckrkck FEEL MY OVERWHELMING ckrkrkrkckrkrkckr POWERRR!”
The expression “ckrkrkckrk OOOON” is of course the protected slogan of my client’s popular energy drink “OOOON” and you will henceforth refrain from using it in combination with your brand or we’ll habeas your corpus if you catch my drift.
Thank you for your understanding,
Dinkle, Dinkle and Dingle
Attorneys at Law
NOT THE BEES!
This makes sense! I once saw a flame and was like “somebody made a worse lightbulb? why?” Now I understand the history. Very enlightening article, would read again.
Ah Peepmetheus! I love talking about this guy. They’re my favourite historical person (maybe second just to myself). They singlehandedly taught everybody else the burn. Classic Peepmetheus.
Oh yeah, remember that time when Peeplato was trying to out-philosophize him, and then Peepmatheus, knowing what’s gonna happen was all like “Do you think you’re So-Grates?” Sick burn.
Dude, I was there for the whole thing. The crowd went wild when the burn happened. Epic stuff.
Yeah bro, Peeplato is hella dope, and I heard he uses social media. Stars.. they are just like us
Giuve me penut.
*Giuve me pearnut
How do you know it’s not applenut?
NÖPE
What’s all this talk about fire? We should be talking about the sun!! That giant floating death-orb has been radiating way more heat than any fire could ever do and for much longer time! I’M SCARED.
Stop being scared and continue making lines! I have been waiting for my order of lines since twelveteenth dazingos! I even prepared a timeline that shows that you are late with my order!!!
I’m pretty sure most of them are done by now. Unless they curved again. Then we’re screwed! Line making is not an exact science.
I just looked at them and they seem a little curved to me. But maybe that’s just space-time curvature again.
YOu said they are GONNA BE THERE on TIME!!
YEt they are still NOT here!!!!!!!1
Is anyone here a lawyer that can help me??????????
Yo yo shoutout to my boy Peepmetheus!
Ha-ha! Your brain is showing
Well well well, if it isn’t my raddest pupil all up in this bish
Oh don’t act all OG
Don act a foo
I also think freezerburn is pretty funny. It happens to me on a regular basis and I usually add some drops of strawberry syrup and whipped cream, but this can easily be adjusted to a low-carb diet. Extra cold heavy whipping cream makes for the best whipped cream, as it emulsifies and holds it’s shape much better. If you have to, pop the heavy whipping cream in the freezer for 10 minutes before you whip it.
We need people to believe fire is real. Please!
new clampynews when
Well well well, what’s the scoop, clampynews? I was hoping to find some juicy gossip, but this newspaper has been as quiet as a mouse lately and it’s starting to get on my nerves. I mean, come on, it’s not like the world stopped spinning just because your editor decided to take a nap and never woke up. It’s almost like you are trying to drive us all to an early grave with boredom. Joke is on you, I’m already dead inside. Maybe I should go over to your headquarters and remind you that I’m watching.