Dating back hundreds of years (maybe even thousands) clams roamed the earth more ferociously than today.During these times, everything was about “eat or be eaten”. Violence was the rule everyone lived by. You might think that clams were always the same as they are nowadays.Recent research however shows a significant change in their body structure.At […]
Category: Clam-P
BREAKING: A Claim(p) and a rescue!
We at Clampynews haven’t posted anything recently, but not without a reason!We went to an area that nobody has heard about, maybe most never will.But that’s exactly why we had to be there, to spit greed into it’s face by shining the light onto the dark shadows that want to stay hidden! Disclaimer: By dark […]
BREAKING: Attempted cutlery
A new cult has caught the attention of the world. They are trying to bring “manners” to the dining table.Odly enough, nobody really knows for how long this cult existed already OR why they are putting in so much money into researching chickenwings for which you don’t need to use your hands to eat. We […]
LIFE: The great clampscape
Everyone finds themselves stuck in a car they tried to steal at least three times in their lifes.Usually in this situation everyone encounters the same problem: Not getting out. Here are a few tips on escaping a car you are lockedin: clamp
TECHNOLOGY: Moving forward with style (and clampy)
Recently clampynews was invited to the tech convention for future technology and we’ve been introduced to the latest, not even released, new propulsion systems! It moves better, faster and it moves! We couldn’t believe our eyes! Naturally it raised one question: Will it enable clampys to move better outside of the water? On which we […]
SPORTS: AXOLOTLPY, TIGERPY or THICC BRUNGUS
WHICH ONE IS THE MONEYMAKER AND WHO IS THE HOMEWORK EATER??? If you watch over one or more itemlabel prisoner it is important to learn their hierarchy.This is done best by matching them in a 1 vs 1 match! We recommend to put up the brackets like this. Recommended rules: After you determined the winner […]
SCIENCE: Clampy’s Theme scientific breakdown
This article will give you a FULL breakdown of what CLampy’s Theme is all about!
ART: Clampy’s theme approaching
Great news! And even bigger NEWS! If you haven’t heard about it yet, you are outdated and therefore not a real clamp. This is a FACT. Back to the important topic! Soon and maybe by the time you are reading this, Clampy’s Theme will be revealed!!! Just like a shell opening up we will finally […]
GASTRONOMY: Too many clamps ruin the stomach?
Recently evidence was brought up that too many clamps can give you a stomachache. Little did I know… it is true! While suffering from too many clamps I decided to research the best way to cure it.Turns out pumpkins are a great cure, be it pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie or pumpkin clamps. Yet the most […]